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	<title>Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother</title>
	<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com</link>
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		<title>Jana answers questions from Adoption STAR Book Club (part 1 of 2)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother&#8221; was chosen as the first selection of the Adoption STAR Book Club. Here are Jana&#8217;s answers to readers&#8217; questions (part 1): Q: Do you still agree with everything that you wrote in the book? JW: Because it started as a diary, I wrote with brutal honesty—without the constraints of [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/jana-answers-questions-from-adoption-star-book-club-part-1-of-2/</link>
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		<title>Genetic Inheritance</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The genes we’re born with are the genes we die with; but, in between, the relationship we have to our own DNA seems to change. Most of us, long before adoption is on our radar, assume we’ll be able to make babies. Parents think about their children as a biological mashup of their genes. When [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/genetic-inheritance/</link>
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		<title>I Love You Phillip Morris (but my birth mom didn&#8217;t love me)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In the movie, “I Love You Phillip Morris,” Jim Carrey plays a con artist with an incurable crush on Ewan McGregor, whom he meets in prison. Far fetched as it seems—with cons that escalate from insurance fraud to embezzlement to faking AIDS—the movie is loosely based on a true story. The adoption connection appears early [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/i-love-you-phillip-morris-but-my-birth-mom-didnt-love-me/</link>
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		<title>On not following in our footsteps</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Check out this article in the New York Times called, &#8220;A Father&#8217;s Acceptance: His Son Won&#8217;t Follow His Ivy Footsteps.&#8221; http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/20/a-fathers-acceptance/ What rings true to me is that we can&#8217;t live through our kids.  It&#8217;s OK to spend years as parents enriching our children, but it&#8217;s not OK to have particular expectations for them. I&#8217;m [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/on-not-following-in-our-footsteps/</link>
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		<title>Kids handling questions about adoption: Let&#8217;s get real</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Granted, it’s been a long time since my child was in first grade and was asked by his classmates about being adopted. But I still know what real kids sound like; and they don’t answer questions like kids are advised to in a recent magazine article entitled, “Adoption and Schools.” Not even close. Q: Where [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/kids-handling-questions-about-adoption-lets-get-real/</link>
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		<title>Dealing (or not) with racism</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I wouldn&#8217;t have thought I had much in common with Madonna, Angelina Jolie, or Sandra Bullock, but an Aryan website recently indicted all four of us for &#8220;plucking black kids off of trees,&#8221; and wondering whether &#8220;they were all out of white babies&#8221; when we did so. The racists behind this online community reprinted in [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/dealing-or-not-with-racism/</link>
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		<title>How have you evolved as an adoptive mother?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I was recently asked that question and here&#8217;s what I think. I started owning the role of Mommy little by little: my son taught me what his cries meant; I became the one who knew him better than anyone else; and I gladly morphed into becoming his love slave. I stopped feeling like I had [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/how-have-you-evolved-as-an-adoptive-mother-2/</link>
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		<title>The Good News About the Bad News</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bad news adoption stories—like the one about the seven-year-old adopted boy being returned to Russia—make me wince on a number of levels. First, it’s a really sad scenario, both for the child and for his once-adoptive family, and one that’s likely to scar everyone involved. The story is upsetting, too, because—like adoption itself—it’s inherently dramatic, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/the-good-news-about-the-bad-news/</link>
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		<title>Transracial Adoption and Imperfect Parenting</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When we adopted our son in 1991 &#8212; he is African American and Latino; we are white &#8212; there weren&#8217;t many images floating around (either in my mind or in the media) of transracial families. Neither were there many books on the subject of parenting a child of another race nor many agencies educating adoptive [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/transracial-adoption-and-imperfect-parenting/</link>
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		<title>My Son&#8217;s Mother</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Mother&#8217;s Day should be punctuated as &#8220;Mothers&#8217; Day&#8221; in adoptive families. Whether or not you know your child&#8217;s birthmother, the second Sunday in May is a personal reminder that it&#8217;s thanks to another woman that you get to be your son&#8217;s or your daughter&#8217;s mom. It&#8217;s one of those bittersweet realizations that you think about [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.secretthoughtsofanadoptivemother.com/my-sons-mother/</link>
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